Men were weird. Especially men made of tempered steel and fire and perpetual darkness. Or men with penises. Either way

Darynda Jones
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More Quotes By Darynda Jones
  1. After a long, labored sigh, I said, “She was really happy when I got there. I’m pretty sure she was suicidal when I left.”“ You do have that effect on people.

  2. Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that. - T-shirt

  3. My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.” I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.” After a long pause in which he took the...

  4. I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

  5. After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?" I turned my back to him with a shrug. "I named my ovaries, too, but they don't get out as much.

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